I Think I Can

I woke up this morning to Kim Vlasnik’s Facebook announcement of her new undertaking, You Can Do This. (Yes, I’ve been known to check Facebook upon awakening. What?)

I’d heard little peeps and hints about You Can Do This around the diabetes universe for the past few weeks, but I thought I’d just wait for the actual announcement to come. I’m glad I did; today was a day when I needed that announcement.

Part of the reason I’ve been absent from conversations in the Diabetes Online Community is that I’ve been all too present in the conversations in my head. I’ve been listening to my inner voice, and let me tell you, that voice is an undermining, nasty, vindictive and pessimistic little son of a bitch, especially when it comes to diabetes management and what the future holds.

Evil thought by evil thought, I’m trying to work through it. I’m learning to talk back when the Inner Underminer says things like, “You’ll never get your A1c back down below 7.0” or “It’s too much trouble to go out to dinner with friends and deal with restaurant food. Let’s just sit here on the couch and eat turkey pepperoni and cry about our health insurance woes.” Or, “You didn’t even finish d-blog week, slacker. You can’t do anything right.” I understand that feeling sad and frustrated with diabetes — and with life in general — is part of being a normal person, but I’m struggling to strike more of a balance between the Inner Underminer and the Happy Voices that haven’t been speaking up as much as they should be.

That’s why it was such a relief to see so many familiar faces this morning, all with the same message: You’re not alone, and you can do this.

I got a little misty as I watched the video. But when I got to the end, I heard a familiar voice: “They can do this,” the voice said, “but you can’t.”

So I watched it again. And again. And I realized that, no matter how loud that sucker in the recesses of my diabetic head gets, I’m so glad that you guys are always louder.

8 comments on “I Think I Can

  1. Meagan Esler says:

    Thanks so much for sharing this Jacquie. I couldn’t help but tear up. The “You are not alone” part hit me big time. There is a lot of lonliness to this disease. After over sixteen years of being a type 1, I finally found the DOC a few months ago. It changed my life. This motivates me to share a video like they asked. Thanks again. I love your blog by the way!!! 🙂

  2. Willis says:

    That is a misty vid!

  3. Mike Hoskins says:

    Thanks for this, Jacquie. I’m on the same page as you are, and have been trying my best to work it all. Many seem to have posted on this announcement today, but I decided to hold off for some of the very reasons you’re mentioning… that I am slacking and am just not very optimistic right now. That’s been a brewing post itself, and I think it’s one I am going to hit with this one next week – before we then get to June 15. I got pretty misty myself this morning when watching it a few times, and I’ll be spending the next several days wrapping my head around everything inside my mind. Thanks for putting into words what I’ve been feeling…

  4. Kelly says:

    It is great to hear YOUR voice today, I always look forward to reading your posts. 🙂 It’s people like you that help me learn and know Leah will be ok as she grows up. I saw the video first thing this morning too. Ironically, on the way to school she started asking me if I thought there would ever be a cure for diabetes. I gave her my half-hearted reply of “I hope so, there’s an awful lot of people working on it for you.” And her reply was, “I know, and I like that because it makes me feel like I’m not alone.” I have no idea what it feels like to have diabetes myself, but I do know that I can keep telling her all about the great people I read about that are so good at dealing with D everyday, so she’s right, she’s not alone.

  5. shannon says:

    Count me in as another person who looks forward to hearing your voice and smiles when your blog title pops up in my feed reader. I am glad this video came at the right time for you. I look forward to seeing what the participants bring to this project, and possibly participating myself.

  6. Auntly H says:

    I don’t care what that wee little underminer says (he’s clearly trying to make up for some self-esteem issues of his own).

    You CAN do this! And we’re all here to help you just like you help us.
    (oh, crap, now I’m tearing up again1)

  7. I love to read your posts–they (and you) are truthful, real, and right on point, even when that point sucks. You already ARE doing this, so just tell that little voice to go suck it. For me the “this” is making it, every day, through the muck and yuck that D brings our way. We have to do it together, and we’re here with you in this! So know that, feel that, and listen to all the DOC voices instead of the craptastic D one. We’re bigger, stronger, and better than that one. And YOU are a part of the WE. You’re already doing this, and we’re with you.

  8. Sysy Morales says:

    Aww Jacquie! So raw and honest…and you are not alone in feeling that way. My biggest fight is always against my own damn thoughts! It’s so frustrating, why can’t I just flick the little evil guy on my left shoulder the hell off? Anyway, I hope you do a video post for this project. We always love your sense of humor!!!

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