There’s a Frog in My Bed

Let’s all agree, middle-of-the-night lows are the worst kinds of lows. They give you bad dreams, they set your CGM on fire, they make your sheets sweaty, and they ruin what might otherwise be a perfectly tranquil night of sleep.

I used to treat overnight lows by stumbling into the kitchen, sucking down a miniature juice box, and sitting in the dark on the couch, waiting to feel normal. Or by shaking my husband awake and sending him down the hallway for snacks. The last few weeks, however, I’ve been keeping bags of candy next to my bed, and I think I prefer gummy bears to grape juice.

All I have to do is roll over, grab a handful of whatever morsels are in the bag, and lay flat on my back while I eat some delicious candy. There’s no turning on the light, no waking anyone up, no accidentally stepping on the cat on the way to the kitchen. I use my chest as a plate, I eat, and then I roll over and go back to sleep.

I hadn’t considered the potential consequences of this until I got up for work yesterday morning.

“What the hell is that?!” my husband asked, pointing to the sheets. I looked back and squinted, wondering if our bed had become host to a mutant species of bedbugs, or if my CGM site had started bleeding in the middle of the night.

But no, it was neither of those things. Instead, I’d spent the last 5 hours of the night incubating a runaway Haribo Mini Rainbow Frog. A red one, to be exact — a gummy, amphibious reminder of the midnight candy bender that had kept me alive until morning. So I did what any shameless diabetic would do: I plucked that squishy little sucker out of the sheets and popped him into my mouth. (And he was delicious, the perfect breakfast amuse bouche.)

Gummy frogs may not be the healthiest, neatest, or most obvious choice for treating lows overnight, but they keep me from croaking, and that’s all I need. Heh.

14 comments on “There’s a Frog in My Bed

  1. Ellen says:

    Pharoah must have had diabetes too 🙂

  2. Fiona says:

    I love your posts!!

  3. Mmmm, gummy frogs! Great post, as always! Ribbit!

  4. Tina Kicklighter says:

    Love it!

  5. Sysy Morales says:

    Girl, you are too funny. I do the same sometimes (after a while juice just tastes blah)! BUT, I’m worried about cavities…I used to brush my teeth after having juice for a nighttime low but, eventually you know…that gets old. Candy is worse to keep on teeth so now I try to swish some water around my mouth after eating candy. I fear it’s not enough lol Oh well!

  6. FatCatAnna says:

    Oh you’ve got me laughing so hard at your post – killer bed bugs ! Not that those midnight sweats when we have hypos are any fun – but I like the gummy bear idea for treating a low. Since I’m afraid to go to any store at the moment until after the holiday madness of shopping (I blogged about it the other day) – I will just have to continue to suck back on my juice box that I keep by my bedside – BORING!
    Love the video of Frog Song from Ellen 🙂

  7. Scully says:

    Oh yes yes yes.. half asleep candy binge! and the reminants that follow 😉

  8. Karen says:

    Oh my gosh, that’s so funny!! They keep you from croaking – bwahahahahaha

  9. Ckoei says:

    You should allow your amphibian access to water (when you do the sheets) – according to Alison at Shoot Up or Put Up, this is what happens to frog eggs…okay, Fruit Pastilles!

  10. Lisa says:

    Question: do you feel your hypos and wake up to treat or is usually the Dexcom that wakes you up?

  11. Abbey says:

    I love that you wrote about this! The same thing happened to me only with chocolate, so you can imagine what that looked like on sheet the next morning. My husband was horrified and frankly, so was I.

  12. Jacqui says:

    I just recently found you with the “Two Shots Too Many” post and I thought it was hilarious! Then I found this one and attempted to read it to my husband. When I got to the part about incubating the runaway frog, I had lost my ability to breathe and had to start the sentence over about 5 times! I PMPL (peed my pants laughing…) Keep it coming – LOVE your posts! (can I put links to them on my facebook page??)

  13. Paul says:

    Great post. I have just two words for you…Clif’s Shot Bloks.

    I love these things…they are like 1-inch gummy cubes. Each one has 8 grams of carbs so it’s really easy to calculate how much you want for a correction. I usually use 2 at a time. They’re fast acting, shelf stable, and won’t turn your bed into an amphibian breeding ground. I’ve used glucotabs (BLEEECK!!), OJ, AJ, candy…you name it…and these are the best that I’ve found!! I guarantee that if you try them once, you’ll be hooked.

    Here’s a link to them on Amazon in case your local bike shop, GNC, or sporting goods store doesn’t carry them…

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