Working On Working Out

I am a woman without an exercise regimen.

I’ve got a million reasons excuses: It gets dark too early to walk or run. I’m trying to figure out my basal rates, and I don’t want to throw another variable into the mix. My knees hurt. I have to go to the grocery store. The Y is too expensive. And crazy sphincter lady actually bought the yoga studio I once loved, so that’s out.

I wrote about this during Diabetes Blog Week, and I’ll say it again: I’ve always felt like exercise is a party I’m not invited to. It could be emotional scarring from the cruel days of middle school P.E. that makes me feel this way, or the hooting mass of backup exercisers who populated the Jane Fonda workout tapes my Mom played every afternoon from 1983 to 1994. Exercise always seemed like something other people excelled at, and those people always struck me as just a bit insane.

For years, I’d look at especially athletic folks and think, “Well, those people aren’t like me. They don’t have to worry about diabetes things.” But I’ve been forced to think differently during the last couple of years. I read and hear about people like Caroline running a freaking marathon. Or Ginger Vieira, who could probably kill us all with her bare hands, but uses her powerlifting talents for good instead of evil. Then there’s a whole slew of cyclists who manage to balance diabetes and road biking. Day by day, they’re chipping away at my stash of diabetes-related excuses, and it makes me feel like I need to figure something out.

All the exercise motivation I need.

As people in general and diabetic people in particular, I feel like we’re always hearing about the benefits of exercising and the potential harm of sitting on our asses. Exercise is good for our bones, our moods, our circulation, our insulin sensitivity, our skin, our hearts, our overall quality of life. I understand all this, and I appreciate it, but when it comes down to it, this is the imaginary scenario that motivates me the most: I’m in the woods or some other wild area, and I get chased by a wild boar. As hard as I try to escape, my legs and lungs and heart fail me, and I am gouged and eaten by said boar.

There’ll be a dramatic recreation on the local news that night, and after recounting the details of my grisly demise, the reporter on location will end her story with a line like, “These attacks are rarely fatal. Experts tell us that, had she been more physically fit, Mrs. Wojcik likely would have been able to outrun her porcine assailant.”

Thoughts like these make me want to exercise, and I want to look forward to it, but I feel like I’m out of options. Either that, or there’s some amazing form of physical activity that I’m naturally brilliant at, but haven’t found yet. (Rowing? Rock climbing? Hang gliding?) I have plans to try to do a beginner’s walk/run deal with my BFF this evening, God willing and the blood sugar don’t rise (too much). Wish me luck, and say a little prayer that the wild boars aren’t out.

14 comments on “Working On Working Out

  1. Tina Kicklighter says:

    Good luck with that walk and I certainly hope like heck that the boars aren’t out so you can keep writing these fantastic and oh-so-enjoyable posts! I finally joined a gym after years of putting off. My rationale? Once you start working out, you have to keep it up so why not wait as long as possible to start?

  2. LOL at the boar! OMG, I’m the same as you…The most exercise I get at the moment is wearing Anna while I shop, or jumping in place to try to convince her to use her jumperoo. I’m the definition of a sloth, and I’ve never been good about it, even when I belonged to a gym. I mean, working out hurts! Why would you want to something that hurts?

    Yeah, I guess for the same reasons we test our bg and insert metal syringes or catheters into our bodies…because in the long run it’s definitely worth it. (Not that that’s inspiring me at this particular moment, but it does sound like the thing to say…)

  3. Renata says:

    A boar? Honey even the fittest peson would have a hard time with that one, but I like how your mind works. Maybe I should think the same way and get my own booty out there. I might do zombies though…or a mummy like in Scooby Doo.

  4. Rachel says:

    I am in the same exact boat as you. Same. I have always hated exercising. Always. The “positive endorphins” last for only so long, and the crashing lows I’d get just completely overshadow the good mood I should be getting from exercising. If you find something awesome, please share!

  5. Steph says:

    Good luck! I had a really hard time sticking with exercising consistently, until I found at friend at the same fitness level and we decided to train for a triathlon. We still workout together, thank goodness, because having a commitment to meet someone else at the gym makes it that much harder to hit snooze in the AM!

  6. Tim says:

    Holy cow! I’ve never thought that wild boar goring might be a diabetes-related issue. Thanks for giving me something else to worry about 😉

  7. Karen says:

    I am right there wit you!!!! I just can’t seem to keep the steam going on an exercise routine. Yup, I’m not invited to that party either. But I hope your walk/run went well last evening – maybe having your BFF as an exercise buddy will help!!

  8. Beth says:

    Exact. Same. Boat. But I’m getting old – I mean, OLDER – and I feel like it’s now or never because I know I’ll be glad I did it….if I can ever DO IT…..! One thing that I’ve been told is to start with doing something you love to do, so I’ve been remembering how I loved to ride my bicycle as a kid and trying to talk myself into the local health club – because you’d have to have a death wish to ride an actual bike around my neighborhood. See? I can do excuses too!

  9. Briley says:

    If you are a capable swimmer, try to find a group around you that does synchronized swimming. It works muscles you don’t know you have (trust me), there’s music involved, and it’s very social. I realize this sounds crazy, but I absolutely love it!

  10. I just googled to find out how fast wild boars can run and apparently they can get up to 35mph! That is insane! I ordered a “fit bit” to try to get myself into getting more exercise. I’ll let you know if it works. 🙂

  11. Chris says:

    Well, I think it’s obvious that your exercise regime should be hanging out in the woods wearing a garland of truffles.

  12. Jasmine says:

    No exercising today! Happy Thanksgiving!

  13. jackie says:

    you are so funny! for me it’s if there is a zombie attack… i’m going to eaten real fast. It is so important to exercise, but i did that for a whole month only to have my doc say that my high sugars i’ve been ecuntering hinder my weight loss. UGH it’s hard enough keeping sugars straight now i can’t exercise right NONONO so far i like fitness dvds i just keep on pushing play (okay i sell them to but i won’t get into that), it took me a while to get over feeling uncomfortable in a gym with group of people. I still feel kinda iffy, (nobody talks to anybody unless they know them) but when the music starts i start moving! hey even mistakes burn calories.

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