For the final day of Diabetes Blog Week, we’re asked to imagine Life After the Cure. So here’s what I’d do after being relieved of my Type 1 status:

Stupid jerk mice, always gettin' cured of diabetes.

I’d start by eating. I’d eat all the cheese and alfalfa sprouts and sunflower seeds and vitamin-fortified tablets I could get my paws on. Then, I’d exercise for hours on end, without once thinking about my blood sugar. I’d dig and run and climb as long as I felt like it. I’d run a few mazes, and do two or three hours on the wheel. When I was finished, I’d eat some more.

I’d have children by the dozen. Imagine how great it must be to reproduce with such reckless abandon! A new batch of pink, squiggly infants to cuddle every two or three months! Without diabetes, getting through the pregnancies would be a breeze.

After four or five litters, I’d start planning my escape. I’ll get one of the kids to wiggle through the bars and open the door from the outside, and then we’ll all make our way down the hall and to the ground floor and —

Oh, am I supposed to be writing about what it would be like if humans were cured of Type 1 diabetes? Yeah, I don’t see that happening soon.

7 comments on “Cured!

  1. Sherry says:

    OMG! That was awesome! Unfortunately I share your view but I love the way you ran with the whole “lab mice cured of T1 Diabetes” crap we’ve all been hearing about for too damn long. Thanks for your witty realism.

  2. Leo says:

    This is by far my favorite “cure” post that I’ve read today (yes, I’m still catching up). Even with the picture of a mouse staring me in the face, I still envisioned litters of human babies rolling around before the punch-out ending.

  3. nici says:

    LOL! This is hilarious! And so true!

  4. Joanne says:

    This totally cracked me up… love your sense of humour! Thanks for the laugh.

  5. Lorraine says:

    There are so many lucky mice out there.

  6. HA! This is so incredibly BRILLIANT!!!! Love it (echoing what everyone else chimed in two and a half months ago, and I’ve already repeated multiple times…)

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