It’s an answer I’ve given a thousand times when someone asks me what it’s like to live with Type 1 diabetes.
“I don’t really think about it anymore,” I say. “It’s reflexive. It’s a habit, like brushing my teeth.”
Of course, that’s mostly a lie. I think about it all the time. I guess I just don’t realize it, because it’s an everyday reality.
So what’s a day in the life of this diabetic like?
I don’t think about it when I reach for my glucose meter first thing in the morning, and compare it to my CGM.
If my blood sugar’s low, I don’t think about it on the way to the refrigerator for a juice box and a granola bar.
I don’t think about it when I’m in the shower, taking care not to snag my infusion set or CGM sensor.
I don’t think about it when I’m getting dressed in the same old jeans with pockets — perfect for clipping my pump to.
I usually don’t think about it when I drive to work — except the few times I’ve accidentally left without my pump and had to turn around and grab it.
I don’t think about it when I check the carb count on my morning yogurt and punch it into my bolus wizard.
I don’t think about it when I have to excuse myself from a meeting to down a Coke.
I don’t think about it when I suspend my pump prior to a client meeting, just so I don’t crash in the middle of a presentation.
I don’t think about it when I head to the grocery store after work and try to load up on things that are generally healthy, but not necessarily diabetes-specific.
I don’t think about it when I pick up light beer instead of delicious Sierra Nevada or Sam Adams Summer Ale, because the good stuff makes my blood sugar spike.
I don’t think about it when I buy waaaay too much shit at the grocery store because my blood sugar is dropping and everything looks so damn delicious.
I do think about it — a lot, in fact — when I have to put my pump on vibrate during an evening yoga class, or run out of class mid-downward dog to eat.
I don’t think about it when I lowball my bolus for spaghetti with meat sauce, because I know that spaghetti never seems to increase my blood sugar as much as one would expect.
I don’t think about it when I’m lying in bed, checking my blood sugar for the 7th or 8th time that day before I fall asleep.
And then, just to stay sane, I don’t think about the fact that I have to do it all again the next day.